“Somebody once said, ‘To write well, you
have to write what you know.’ Well, here is what I know...” Never
Been Kissed
When arriving in Ireland I had no
idea what to expect and perhaps this is best because then I would have no
expectations failed to be met. Well, this is not exactly true. If I did have
any kind of expectation for Ireland it would be to leave here having learned
something and I do not necessarily mean from a book or in a class although
these are great and most obvious jumping off points. What I wanted was to learn
something about life, something that would make me a different person, a better
person (as cliche as that sounds) and with the following four experiences I
believe it safe to say that my only expectation was highly met.
The first piece that I would like to
discuss is Rian. In
all honesty, I had no idea as to what it was that I was about to watch. I
believe it was not until the day of that I found out it was a dance piece. This
little discovery made me quite happy because although acting is my dream I love
dance. I love to dance. For myself, it is something that is so freeing. It is
the only time that I truly feel like nothing or no one else in the world
matters, a time when I can take a break from living in my head, concerning
myself with what other people are thinking or doing, and just be in the moment.
When watching Rian I was doing just that, living in this moment of music and
dance. I cannot recall one time when I was thinking ‘what does that mean?’ or
‘why was that done?’ which I often find myself doing during a performance be it
a dance, play or what have you therefore disrupting any full enjoyment I might
get out of just simply witnessing what is before me. Still more, however, is
the fact that when I do dance it is almost always to what is mainstream, music
that is familiar to me otherwise I find it slightly more difficult to get into
that feeling of just being in the moment. Throughout the performance of Rian
though, I found myself
constantly tapping my feet and clapping along to the beat of the music. There
were numerous times in fact when I wanted to jump out of my seat and dance
regardless of the people around me and the lack of a conventional dance floor.
This surprised me due to the aforementioned statement of only being able to
truly enjoy dancing when the music is familiar to me. After some thought I
realized, and by no means is this a groundbreaking revelation, that music,
whether it is what you recognize or you do not, can transcend boundaries like
that of language, culture, country or whatever it may be. The enjoyment and
pleasure of music and dance is universal. Rian choreographer Michael Keegan-Dolan appeared to be more than
well aware of this when casting dancers from various backgrounds and
incorporating influences from what he referred to as faraway places. Despite
these facts, it was not until the shows finale, in which the audience members
were invited up onto the stage to join in the dance, that my feelings and
thoughts seemed to be justified. There were no rules or regulations, questions
of who you were or where you were from but simply a matter of coming together
and sharing this enjoyment that is evoked by music and dance.
UC Berkeley onstage at "Rian"
Now to transition from an event that
made me stop and not think to a person who made me stop and really think. Aoife
Spillance-Hinks was an absolute joy to come and listen to. She had a lot to say
just from within her twenty-something years of life experiences. However, there
were two things that really stood out for me. The first was when she was
describing her experience going from her undergraduate studies to her graduate
studies and how the range of ages differed quite vastly once she had reached
graduate school. This struck a cord within me due to the fact that I am a
little older than your average undergraduate student and although the
difference in age between myself and most of my fellow classmates is not one of
staggering proportions there is still this sense of isolation, a feeling I
bring mostly upon myself as opposed to it coming from any outside sources.
However, it is also due to this fact that Aoife had mentioned of pressure and
having to have something such as college done by a certain age regardless if
you know what it is that you want to do with your life or not. In specific
reference to the story she told about the 60-year-old female classmate she had
in grad school and the experiences this woman was able to bring to the
classroom I would assume that her hiatus from institutional education helped
greatly in her decision to go back to school either in that it would expand her
knowledge on her particular focus or allow her the opportunity to utilize it
towards something completely new. Whatever the case my be it helped me to
realize that I should be more confident about the decision I made and that
allowing myself time as well as garner my own experiences was beneficial in
figuring out the direction in which I wanted to take my life. The second thing
that stood out for me was nearing the end of the talkback in which Aoife had
mentioned if you have a true passion for something you have to be willing to do
whatever it takes to reach your goal, even if that means starting at the very
bottom and having to go fetch someone’s coffee. It may not be the best job but
it is a humbling experience and highlights a drive within you. You cannot just
sit around and wait for life to happen to you, you have to go out there and
make it happen for you.
Next, I would like to fast forward
through the days from one visiting guest theater-maker to another . . . or
rather, two others. I must admit that I was not too excited about the day we
were going to spend with the duo known as Brokentalkers and that was primarily
due to the fact that there work is contemporary which I tend to somewhat
associate with abstract or absurd. In other words, art that I do not understand
and therefore find it a little difficult to appreciate. I am a fan of
traditional storytelling, always have been. However, by the end of class that
Friday my horizons were broadened. What I enjoyed about their visit was
primarily the experience of witnessing as well as participating in what it is
exactly that goes into making the kind of theater that they do. Obviously,
being a part of their theater-making process helped me to better understand the
types of performances that they put on but it also gave me the opportunity to
see how the performances are made. When watching a performance that is along
the lines of what Brokentalkers produce I am always asking myself ‘how do you
even come up with something like that?’ I have now witnessed the stepping
stones. More importantly, though, I have also garnered a further sense of
respect for the work that they do. Regardless of whether I understand a certain
type of performance, I always want to walk away with a form of respect that
went into making the performance because it is hard work and if I appreciate
nothing else I want to at least appreciate that.
Lastly, I have reached one of our
most recent events, that of Miss Pandora “Panti” Bliss and her drag show at the
Panti Bar. Prior to that night I had never seen a drag show so I was looking
forward to the experiencing of something new. The skits and dance numbers were kind
of silly and fun, Panti spotlighting our group at times made me feel a little
special and allowing us to dance on the stage at the end of the night was
fantastic. All in all, I would say it was a great night--until discussion
Monday morning. Although I had read
Panti’s article “A Women in Progress” I did not make a connection between what
she was stating about her dislike for the New Gay and our group going to her
drag show primarily for the sake of our entertainment. What she was trying to get across within that
portion of the article did not become clear to me until some had confessed
within class discussion that they felt like we were intruding upon a place
where we clearly did not belong and/or did not understand. After such
statements were made I could not help but ask would I have enjoyed myself as
much had not grown up and been surrounded by a gay culture that is highly
commercialized and commodified or better yet, would I have even gone in the
first place? With statements such as, “Being gay pushed me to think . . .and
from it came a lust for life and all it could be,” “what was liberating and
honesty to me, is sad and shameful to the New Gay,” “our sexuality awakened
us,” and “being gay used to mean being a part of a fire of creativity and exploration”
as well as her discussion of being part of a generation “who came of age under
the shadow of AIDS,” I could not help
but feel guilty for laughing at and cheering obnoxiously for something that is
not just simply and purely a form of entertainment for Panti and those who know
and understand where she is coming from. What she does has meaning behind it
despite how silly it may seem from a surface level point-of-view. Furthermore,
I am grateful for my feeling of guilt because it proves that I have learned
something and that is that I want to and need to start questioning everything,
not just accept it as is.
The reason for my choosing these four particular experiences was due to
that each one allowed me to walk away with something that I had not possessed
before and it is something that did not necessarily pertain to what each
experience was specifically dealing with at hand but to my life in general and
that to me is priceless. My brother-in-law had once told me buying things such
as clothes or shoes was a waste of money, that I should instead travel, go out
and see the world because although the material items may last a lot longer
tangibly there is nothing that could ever replace life’s lessons learned and
memories made.
The author, Danielle Diaz, Kambrya Blake, and Moni Wright
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